अनिल एकलव्य ⇔ Anil Eklavya

October 16, 2016

Compliments and Twitteria

Filed under: Compliments,Twitteria,Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 12:58 am
Tags: , , ,

I rarely get compliments of the first kind. Occasionally, I get compliments of the second kind, that is, the backhanded kind. I frequently get compliments which are of a variety of the second kind. But the ones I cherish most are the 1.5th kind. I cherish them so much that I am not even going to explain what that kind is.

Today I got a compliment of a variety of the second kind. A few days ago I got one which, I think (or at least I hope), was of the 1.5th kind.


By the way (and totally unrelated), in this day and age, it seems impossible not to get Twitteria. I had long ago created an account on Twitter, as I had on many other places, just for testing out. Most of these I deleted completely. I think I deleted the Twitter one too, but it seems to be still there, though I never really open it, let alone use it. Even then it turns out that I am not safe from Twitteria. Or Facebookeria. Or WhatsAppia. Or G-plusseria.

These may be the new hemorrhoids of the 21st century. Everyone gets them sooner or later.

But they are contagious.

September 23, 2016

Threat Perception

Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 9:53 pm

I commute between the office and the home on bicycle. Half an year ago I had moved out of the campus. The journey has become slightly longer (more than double). Not very long, but not one I like.

During the last month, I have been in three very minor but very strange ‘accidents’. I am not good in traffic, but I ride as carefully as I can. I observe all rules (whatever applies to a mere bicycle). On all these three occasions, I was not at fault at all. The one today evening was something that cannot be ignored.

I seem to have angered some people (recently, unwittingly). In the coming days, something bad (or worse) happening are quite high. Most probably I won’t be at fault.

These may well be just be psyops. But the one today was not merely psychological. The other two weren’t either, but I was almost physically unhurt.

Psyops there have too been many earlier for many years, but they did not involve physical hurt.

These days, I mostly keep silent. If I write this, there must be a reason. And other things than just these three events. But as I said, I mostly keep silent these days.

(Coward? Maybe, but Futile? Yes.)

Once you have spoken up, has only silence ever saved anyone? Being just silent is not enough after that. Silence (omertà) needs to be there right from the beginning.

I have pointed them to a ‘manual’. They will use it, won’t they. Several ‘manuals’ in fact. One of them is right here on top right. Another one of them ends with a bullet in the head.

So it could be worse.

And the laws of comedy apply as ever. And the psyops continue. That’s from another manual.

There is still another amended (proactive) version of an ancient manual, which exempts god-fearing nationalists with families. It doesn’t exempt me.


झूठे गुणगान करो। झंडा फ़हराओ। कमी मत निकालो। मज़े करो। सब खुश।

(यह सब कर्म में गिना जाता है)

मत करो, पर अपनी जान निकाल कर रख दो। लात पड़ेगी। गाली पड़ेगी।

(यह कर्म में नहीं गिना जाता)

September 14, 2016

The Mafia Model

Filed under: Global Society,Mafia,The Mafia Model,Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 12:09 am

The world is a really big mafia town and a family is its smallest unit.

August 14, 2016

Advert Abuse – 1

The Ad Blocker Alert is running amok, especially on the Indian newspaper websites. It all seems to have started on the same day. Perhaps they are all using the same software for creating their websites and some changes were made to that software.

I had ad blocker installed on most browsers I use. Suddenly one day, boom! no more (Indian) news reading if you don’t disable your ad blocker.

So far, so bad. Ad blockers have the option to disable it on specific websites. There being no other option (take it or leave it), I did that for several Indian newspaper websites. The Ad Blocker Alert still appeared, on all browsers. Then on some websites, it disappeared, although on some others it still said the same thing.

So it went on for several weeks. My browsers screens were dominated by ads, which seemed to be of two main varieties in recent days: bad semi-nude ‘paintings’ and a mind boggling number of ads for making women’s skin fair. As fair as a white woman. Or at least as fair as a Jewish woman. The ideal face for an Indian upper caste woman with marriage or her mind. Or, more likely, her family’s mind. With before and after pictures. The word racism is not in their vocabulary. The Indian newspapers (which these days go on about the same kind of racism in India and how bad it is) wanted me to see these ads. There were others which were offensive and/or irritating, as most ads are, advertising being an inherently evil art.


Consent is not needed. No doesn’t mean no, whatever they might say in their reports and opinions pieces, and, yes, even essays. They publish essays too. They seem to have their own definitions about what the word essay means, like some on the Radical Left, who insist on calling their pamphlets essays. I don’t know when the word pamphlet lost its revolutionary value. Perhaps they are catching up with the bourgeoisie values. The word pamphlet don’t sound very statussy, I guess.

Then it got worse. Even with the ad blocker being disabled for all the Indian newspapers I read (for whatever purposes), the same Ad Blocker Alert appeared again. After some disorientation, I tried once more. I disabled the ad blocker everywhere. Now the content became visible, although in many cases the ads didn’t show up properly and instead of the ad content, there was some JavaScript. Naughty Ad Blockers! They were still doing something. As one newspaper report said yesterday, we can expect the duel to go on for some time. May be a long time.

Weeks passed again, with the same bad nude painting and fair skinning ads. Then yesterday, the Ad Blocker Alert was unhappy again. It started giving the same message: Please disable the ad blocker on this website (this time a bit more polite: The almost threatening Ad Blocker Alert title – in bold letters – on the page was replaced). But I had already disabled it on all websites.

Still having no other options, I went ahead and simply uninstalled the ad blocker completely. May be their ad blocker code was not smart enough and it just detected the presence of an ad blocker and blocked me in return.

The Ad Blocker Alert didn’t appear impressed. Back to the same message. Please disable the ad blocker on this website. But I had already completely uninstalled the ad blocker!

Now there is a disclosure: I sometimes use the Tor browser, even for visiting newspaper websites. In fact, mainly for visiting newspaper websites. And I know that many websites block traffic from Tor nodes. Some block it completely and some make you fill silly recaptchas. Free crowdsourcing for machine learning as the added benefit for the recaptcha providers.

So, on a hunch, I went to the vanilla Firefox. I uninstalled the ad blocker, installed it again (so that I had the latest version) and tried again. But this time I enabled it everywhere. First, it worked without the ad blocker being disabled anywhere. But soon the same alert appeared again. Now I disabled the ad blocker on that particular website. Surprise! It worked, although with the bad nude painting and the fair skinning ads (or some variety thereof) were still there.

A little bit happy (that I won’t have to now disable the ad blocker everywhere), I went back to Tor. Did the same excercise again. No luck. Disable on the particular website. Doesn’t work. Disable everywhere. Doesn’t work. Uninstall it completely. Still doesn’t work.

So I figured they are simply putting up the Ad Block Alert for any traffic to that newspaper from Tor (or may be from a foreign IP). The bright side is: no recaptchas to prove that you are not a robot (your are simply blocked). The recaptchas are getting more and more complicated these days and if you use Tor a lot, they will ensure that quite a bit of your time goes into proving that you are not a robot. Again and again. With different kinds of puzzles: some even difficult for humans.

For now, it seems only one Indian newspaper website is affected by this. It is one of the most centre-left, liberal, progressive ones. They are probably the trend setters.

Waiting for the others to catch up. No more Tor, it seems, from now on if you want to read Indian newspapers.

That’s how things stand for now.


Update: Suddenly, as I am nearing the posting of this post, the bad nude paintings and the fair skinning ads have become hard to find. For how long, I wonder? Instead there is this:


Update-2: The semi-nude paintings are back:


By the way, doesn’t this one look like a recaptcha? Click on the all the (bad) semi-nude paintings to prove that you are not a robot. I wonder what they are selling.

July 28, 2016

The Beef in India

Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 6:46 pm

We don’t eat beef in India.

We prefer Salman Khan.


Don’t ever cross his path. Or of his friends. Or of his fans.

Don’t get fooled by his religion, if you want to be safe.


All these may not be enough.

He may still cross your path.

June 19, 2016


Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 1:30 pm

औरलैंडो घटना के बारे में भारतीय जनता की टिप्पणी:

ओ तेरी! पचास छक्के मार दिए! ये तो धोनी कोहली से भी आगे निकला!

April 8, 2015

शिकार की इजाज़त

Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 11:31 pm

जंगली जानवर तो
सब खतम हो गए
खूब शिकार खेला
हज़ारों साल खेला

पहले खेला खाने के लिए
फिर खेला मज़े के लिए
इतना मज़ा आया
इतना मज़ा आया
कि सौ दो सौ साल में ही
सारे जानवर निपटा दिए

और जंगल भी सब काट डाले
उसका भी अपना मज़ा था

मगर क्या करें यार
शिकार की तलब तो
अब भी वैसे ही लगती है
पर इजाज़त अब ज़रा
मुश्किल से मिलती है

लेकिन जब मिल जाती है
तो चूकते हरगिज़ नहीं हैं

पर जैसा ऊपर कहा जा चुका है
जानवर तो सब खतम हो गए
पालतू को मारने में मज़ा नहीं है
तो बचा बस अब आदमी ही है

(मिसाल पालतू आदमी से नहीं है)

उसी का शिकार करना पड़ता है
यानी आदमी का जो पालतू नहीं हो
इजाज़त चाहे मुश्किल से मिलती हो
पर उसका मज़ा ज़बरदस्त है
जिसने किया है वही जानता है
पर लार दूसके भी टपकाते हैं

आदमियों, माने इंसानों की
कोई कमी भी नहीं है
एक ढूंढो हज़ार मिलते हैं
निपटा तो सकते नहीं
पर टपका तो सकते हैं

थोड़ा माहौल बनाना पड़ता है
कभी-कभी तो शिकार को
मुठभेड़ भी दिखाना पड़ता है

एक बार आदम-खून लग जाए
तो छूटने का नाम नहीं लेता
और छोड़ना चाहता भी कौन है

मुश्किल घूम-फिर के एक वही है
इजाज़त ज़रा मुश्किल से मिलती है
और शिकार के बाद कभी-कभी तो
सिरफिरों की गालियाँ सुननी पड़ती हैं

पर भौंकते कुत्तों की परवा किसे है

हम तो भई खेलते हैं
गर्व से खेलते हैं
और खेलते ही रहेंगे

खूब खेल चुके हैं अब तक

छप्पन नहीं साहब
छप्पन हज़ार, कि लाख, कि करोड़
कौन जाने, गिनती थोड़े ही रखते हैं

कभी शहर में, कभी गाँव में
कभी रेगिस्तान में, कभी पहाड़ पर
कभी वाहन के भीतर, कभी वाहन पर
दोपहर को, शाम को, मुफ़्ती में, वर्दी में
काले का, गोरे का, भूरे का, पीले का
इस धर्म वाले का, उस धर्म वाले का
(धार्मिक शिकार का मज़ा अलग ही है)
कभी दिन में, तो कभी अंधेरे में
कभी इमारत के भीतर, कभी बाहर
कभी समंदर पर, कभी जंगल में

जंगल में शिकार: वाह भई वाह
उसकी कोई बराबरी है ही नहीं
समंदर से भी नहीं, किसी से नहीं
(वैसे समंदर सब को नसीब भी कहाँ है)
पुराने दिनों की याद आ जाती है

आदमी-जानवर का अंतर मिट जाता है
बराबरी का बोलबाला, बुरे का मुँह काला


बिल्कुल ग़लत कह रहे हो यार
हम शिकार करते ही नहीं हैं
हम सिर्फ़ तो बलि चढ़ाते हैं
जैसे पहले चढा करती थी
वैसे ही अब भी चढ़ाते हैं

पर कुछ बात तुम्हारी सही है
इजाज़त ज़रा मुश्किल से मिलती है
और बराबरी चाहे जाए भाड़ में
पर बुरे का मुँह ज़रूर काला

[8 अप्रैल, 2015]

July 20, 2013

Covers for War and War Crimes

Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 5:54 am

Time Magazine Cover | Jan. 2, 1939

(Man of the Year: 1938)

State Police photographer releases bloody Tsarnaev photos to Boston Magazine

(A Noble Revelation)

Photographer who released Tsarnaev capture images suspended

(Featured Comments)

Floyd: Rolling Stone magazine can’t make a killer cool

(Monster of the Year: 2013)

(So There Has Been Progress)

Henry Kissinger (on Time Magazine Cover) | Feb. 14, 1969

(Now That’s What We Call a Hero)

America Keeps Honoring One of Its Worst Mass Murderers: Henry Kissinger

(The Self-Serving Cowards)

Henry Kissinger: War Criminal or Old-Fashioned Murderer?

America Keeps Honoring One of Its Worst Mass Murderers: Henry Kissinger

(Losers Whining in Their Panic Room)

World’s Most Evil And Lawless Institution?

(But These Lives Don’t Count)

(Why Are You Complaining?)

Bush’s Useful Idiots

(And We Have a War Going On)

(That Will Go On Indefinitely)

On His 95th Birthday, the Story of Nelson Mandela’s Struggle Told Outside His Old Soweto Home

(But We Are Not Heartless!)

(Haven’t We Pardoned This Terrorist?)

“The Act of Killing”: New Film Shows U.S.-Backed Indonesian Death Squad Leaders Re-enacting Massacres

(These People Are Not Enjoying Their Old Age in Peace)

(They are Broken and Tormented At The End)

(Our Hero Kissinger Dies Happy)

(He Was Not Tormented At All)

(These Are Uneducated People)

(We Are Smart And Sophisticated)

(Have We Sinned? We Have Not.)

Suicide bomber kills 20 in Iraqi Sunni mosque

(And This Has Nothing to Do With Us)

(We Can’t Waste Our Time in Trying to Understand)

(Why and How a Tragedy Like This Happens)






Car bombs and violence leave 46 dead in Iraq




Pakistan government recorded killings from US drone strikes, document shows




Al-Qaida claims Iraq prison raids which freed hundreds of inmates

(We Told You Al-Qaida was in Iraq)

(That’s Why We Attacked and Destroyed It)




More than 1000 inmates escape from Libyan jail

(This Has Nothing to Do With Us Either)




Day of Violence Kills 30 in Iraq




Wave of car bomb attacks in Iraq

(You Have a Morbid Obsession with Death)




‘King of romance,’ now an angry militant

(Totally Irrelevant. You Are Crazy.)

July 7, 2013

कोई बड़ी बात नहीं है

Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 10:34 pm

– अगला आडमी बुलाओ।

– नैक्स्ट!

एक आदमी अपने काग़ज़ लेकर आगे आता है।

– क्या नाम है टुम्हारा?

– कीर्ति आज़ाद

– (एकदम गुस्से में खड़े होकर) साला बाग़ी! टुमको आज़ाडी मांगटा?

– नहीं साहब …

– साला, झूट बोलटा! ए सिपॉय सीटाराम!

– जी, हुज़ूर!

– इस बागी को उढर मैडान में लेजाके डो सौ कोड़े लगाओ।

– पर साहब, मैं तो आपके खिलाफ़ नहीं हूँ!

– साला, फिर झूट बोलटा!

– गुस्ताखी मुआफ़, हुजूर, पर ये सही कह रहा है। ये तो दोस्त रियासत की दोस्त पार्टी का है। हिंदुस्तान में बी जे पी का एम पी है। हिंदुस्तान के बारे में तो आप जानते ही हैं, और इसकी पार्टी भी बड़ी वफ़ादार पार्टी है। हिंदुस्तान की सबसे वफ़ादार पार्टी है।

– टो ये अपने नाम में आजाड काए को लगाए है? खैर, इसको लेजाके डो घंटे कोठरी में बंद कर डो।

– हुज़ूर, ये तो ज्यादती हो जाएगी। सरकार बहादुर का तो नाम है इंसाफ़ के लिए।

– टुम ठीक कहटा है। फिर भी सबक डेना टो ज़रूरी है। इसे डो घंटे उधर बेंच पर बिठा डो।

– जी हुज़ूर। बिल्कुल जाय़ज़ सज़ा मुकर्रर की है साहब ने। .. आओ, चलो।

– पर ये तो ज़्यादती है!

– अरे, ख़ैर मनाओ। तुम बी जे पी के हो और एम पी हो और यहीं से वर्ल्ड कप जीत के गए थे। अगर नहीं होते और आंध्र प्रदेश या उड़ीसा या, भगवान न करे, छत्तीसगढ़ में आंदोलन वगैरह से जुड़े होते तो कौन जाने शायद यहाँ से तुमको उठा के ले जाया जाता और एन्काउंटर भी हो सकता था।

– पर मेरे नाम में आज़ाद तो …

– पता है, पता है! पर आज़ादी का फ़ैशन अब चला गया। दुनिया आगे बढ़ गई है और तुम्हारा नाम पुराना पड़ गया है और खतरनाक बन गया है।

– अच्छा ठीक है, पर बी जे पी से क्या? राज तो अभी कौंग्रेस का है …

– कौंग्रेस के होते तो भी बच जाते। वो भी तो दोस्त पार्टी है। … तुम्हारे अकेले के साथ ही ऐसा नहीं हुआ है। दरअसल कॉरपोरेश बहादुर, जिनके राज में कभी सूरज अस्त नहीं होता, आजकल काफ़ी सख्ती बरत रही है। किसी भी तरह की बग़ावत को एकदम बर्दाश्त नहीं करेगी। तुमने सुना ही होगा, आजकल तो राष्ट्रपतियों को भी नहीं बख्शा जाता, एम पी की तो छोड़ो।

– तो दो घंटे क्या होगा?

– कुछ नहीं, आराम से बैठकर सज़ा की फ़ॉर्मेल्टी पूरी करो। यह सोच लेना किसी और को सज़ा दी जा रही है। हमारे साहब बहादुर को क्या तुम बेवकूफ़ समझते हो? ऐसे ही थोड़े ही ना कह दिया है। अब तुम एम पी हो और वर्ल्ड कप विजेता हो तो खबर तो बनेगी ही। यह खबर दूसरों के लिए सबक का काम करेगी। कोई बड़ी बात नहीं है। … और तुम्हारी पार्टी चाहे तो इसका भी चुनाव में इस्तेमाल कर सकती है … इसी आज़ाद नाम को लेकर … क्या समझे?

– पर इज़्ज़त भी तो कोई चीज़ होती है। एम पी की भी तो कुछ हैसियत होती है।

– अरे अब छोड़ो भी! अब नाम ऐसा है तो थोड़ा भुगतना तो पड़ेगा ही। ऐसा करना, वापस पहुँच कर प्रेस को एक बयान दे देना। मन हल्का हो जाएगा।

April 25, 2013

A Great Friend of Humanity: In Praise of a Mere Utensil

Filed under: Uncategorized — anileklavya @ 3:33 am

To be more precise, not just an utensil (though it can serve as that), but a device. No, not an I.E. Device, but a common cooking device.

One of the latest targets of the newest witch hunts is something called a pressure cooker. Photos of a destroyed pressure cooker have been all over the screens and papers of the world. They are almost presented as the photos of a monster.

The other day, that great conman of the 21st century who holds the title of the President of the US of A (not that most of the rest are any better), was giving another one of his precious speeches in which he said solemnly and seriously that the surviving accused —

Let us repeat it together: The surviving – accused. Accused.

Repeat the last part once more: Accused.

Or, alternatively: The suspect.

Or, another alternative: The alleged perpetrator.

Repeat the second last part: Alleged.

(This repetition excercise is courtesy another famous president, famous at least in my part of the world).

– So the great conman president was telling the world that any time bombs are used against innocent civilians (presumably for political purposes, though he didn’t say that), it is an act of terror. Two days later, I heard on the news that the accused has been charged with “using weapons of mass destruction”.

For a moment I actually thought that I was in South Park.

But South Park is a much saner place.

A brave journalist (citing the above statement) did, in fact, question the White House spokesman (shame! shame! what an office to hold!) about whether the US considers its bombing in Afghanistan carried out only a few days earlier, that killed 14 children and a woman, i.e., innocent civilians, (presumably for political purposes, thought she didn’t say so) an act of terror. The spokesman gave the kind of moronic reply that only spokesmen, PR guys and morons can give.

Fifteen is five times three. If you are allowed to say that two plus two is four.

Anyway, all that is not very relevant to the topic of this article. The theme, or rather the protagonist, of this article is the utensil, the cooking device called a pressure cooker. Animals can’t speak for themselves, but they can still express some feelings and reactions. A pressure cooker cannot even do that. It is not even a living being. It is not even an entity. It is a type that represents individual pressure cookers such as the one you have been seeing (in a mutilated condition) for the last so many days.

But the need of the hour is that we talk about a type as an entity. Sometimes that is necessary. For example, we talk about the common man. Almost everyone does. At least they do in India, where I am from, which is very relevant to the current theme. They do, even though there is no ‘the common man’, as many wise men keep pointing out. Still, it sometimes makes sense to pretend that there is. Similarly, we can talk about ‘the pressure cooker’, when we are actually talking about a type. And it is more justified in this case, because ‘the pressure cooker’ is much more like ‘a pressure cooker’ than ‘the common man’ is like ‘a common man’.

So, let’s get on with it.

Pressure Cooker for Dummies

What is a pressure cooker? It is a cooking device that is shaped like an utensil (it is an utensil, at least a part of it is an utensil). It is used to cook a wide variety of home cooked food (and even some non-home cooked). It is an utensil with a lid. The top of the utensil and the bottom of the lid are made in such a way that the lid can be screwed on to the utensil that holds the item to be cooked. The lid requires a washer (a ‘gasket’) to be inserted in it, before it can be screwed on to the utensil. The washer makes the pressure cooker air tight: It prevents the water vapour from escaping from the utensil. The part of the science behind the pressure cooker is based on the famous Gas Laws, which are primarily based on the (very aptly named) Boyl’s Law and the Charles’ Law. One of the basic ideas is that as the temperature of the item in the cooker increases, since the volume and the mass remain constant (as the water vapour cannot escape), the pressure goes up. High pressure means faster cooking. But that is not all. The other basic idea is that water boils at higher temperature at higher pressure. That means that, inside the pressure cooker, since the water boils at higher temperature, the cooking items can be heated up to a higher temperature, which also greatly helps cooking.

So what can happen if the pressure cooker is left unattended and the pressure goes too high? Not to worry. Every pressure cooker’s anatomy (and physiology) consists of another important part, that is, the safety valve. When the pressure reaches a carefully set limit for which it was designed, the safety valve lets some of the steam out, thereby avoiding the possibility of the cooker being blown up. Just like a circuit breaker prevents an electric device from catching fire.

Pressure Cooker for Grown Ups (Reader Discretion Strongly Advised)

Why is it important to defend, indeed, praise this device about which the current consensus seems to be that it is dangerous device? A weapon of mass destruction!

Take a fucking sanity check, you morons!

The pressure cooker is a great friend of humanity.

To digress just a little bit, not everyone has been calling to execute the pressure cooker. There have been many who have defended it. However, sadly, some of them have put it in the same category as guns. They are saying, they are in fact petitioning, that: “Don’t ban pressure cookers. Don’t ban guns.”

Now, in an ideal world, I would like not to have any guns or bombs or anything of the sort. But since we don’t live in an ideal world, I am prepared to discuss why guns should not be banned. Still, even in practice, in the present world, I personally favour gun control, based on common sense. But the point is that I am prepared to discuss whether they should be banned or not. I am unlikely to change my opinion though, for reasons on which we can’t spend the precious space here.

But putting guns and pressure cookers in the same category? No way! They have hardly anything in common.

I won’t talk about guns, but I will about the poor, much maligned pressure cooker that is such a boon to a large population of the world. And to the planet.

Here is why.

Because of the way it is designed and the science behind it, it is not only quite safe to use, but is actually a device that is beneficial to humanity in many different ways.

It is a great energy conservator. What would have required 10x of energy to cook, needs only 3x or may be just one 1x, depending on what you are cooking. Not exact numbers, but good indicators.

It is a great option for saving time. The same numbers apply as for energy, more or less.

Since it keeps everything inside it, it serves two other important purposes. First, less smell escapes, so that the neighbours will feel less envy. Or disgust, depending on the tastes and customs. Second, since less smell escapes, it is preserved in the cooked food. The food tastes and smells better. Now, some might not agree with the last part and there are indeed charms associated with, say, cooking on an old style wood-burning ‘choolha’, but such things are hardly practical in the cities.

It is also not very expensive. It costs less than a microwave. At least it does in the places where it is used the most.

And where is it used the most? That is a very pertinent and, dare I say, a burning question.

It is used in the poorest countries of the world. It is used, for example, in the whole of South Asia. So much so, that no South Asian kitchen (provided there is a kitchen and the kitchen owners can afford to buy it) is complete without a pressure cooker. If there is any one single item most commonly associated with cooking in modern South Asia, it is the cook’s best friend, the pressure cooker.

And I believe it is used in many other parts of the world. In countries of the South. The East. The Third World.

Plotting to deprive the Third World (and parts of the Second World) of the one common luxury that it has? It is criminal and diabolical, to say the least.

In the First World countries too, the pressure cooker might be one of the common denominators among the people whose origins lie in the the Third World.

There is always a need to find innovative ways to express as well as practice some time honoured traditions like racism and discrimination. An enemy has to be found. The enemy is mostly based on the race or some such criterion. But the enemy has to appear as race-neutral for reasons of political correctness. This time it is the poor pressure cooker.

Of course, as indicated above, there are vast numbers in the Third World who can’t even afford to buy a pressure cooker. But those who can, do. Because it is an essential item in the kitchen, often the first cooking utensil that is bought when a house starts becoming a home.

The pressure cooker saves money for people who earn relatively less (and even for those who earn a lot). It conserves energy, thereby reducing the greenhouse gas emission, the CO2 footprint. It saves time and thereby makes people more productive. It encourages better nutrition because those who are lazy can still quickly cook something if they have a pressure cooker at hand.

And to top it all, the pressure cooker’s existence is perhaps one of the few (or may be the only) redeeming features of that infernal activity called bauxite mining.

Take a look inside your girehbaans, you murdering scoundrels!

But pressure cooker can even be made from steel. And when it is, it not only deprives the bauxite industry of its redemption, it can be also be used with an induction heater. The pair together save even more energy.

The only negative side that I can think of is related to washing it. Washing it is somewhat more cumbersome than washing a microwave glass bowl.

I have been living alone for the last decade. I am known to be very negligent about food. So people, that is, family members, keep asking me about food. I have an elder brother. I have met him rarely in more than a decade, but whenever we meet, he advises me about using the pressure cooker to quickly cook something to ensure that the body gets at least the minimum that it needs. Before coming to France, and also when he once came to France after I came here, he stressed this point. He even advises me about how to use it in such a way that the neighbours (of the First World) are not scared by the (safety valve’s) whistle that the pressure lets out from time to time. (In India, we are all very much used to it). He does that, of course, because he is concerned about my nutrition and health. He is a highly qualified doctor by training. And a very good one. And he is telling from his experience, because he has travelled much more than me and has lived in even more places than me.

I haven’t followed his advise here. But that is at my own peril. The point is that I know the value of the pressure cooker. If I had it here, I would have eaten better.

So what about the dangers it is purported to pose to the community? Well, there can indeed be rare occasions when an old pressure cooker ‘blows up’. It did actually happen once when I was a teenager, almost in my sight. Fortunately, no one was injured. But that didn’t stop us from using it.

When I bought my first microwave some years ago, I once put something in it — a ‘paapad’ and what happened? It (the ‘paapad’) caught fire, which was easily put out as I was right in front of it at that time. But that didn’t stop me from using it. And everyone knows what can happen if you put a metal utensil in a microwave, something much more likely to happen in countries where the microwave is still a novelty.

Earlier it was the pagdi. Then it was the burka. Now they have got hold of the pressure cooker. They keep getting nastier and nastier.

While pagdi and burka were specific to certain communities (also from the Third World), the pressure cooker casts a much wider net. And, as detailed above, there is hardly anything rational to said against it. And a lot that can be said in favour of it.

Don’t let them get away with it.

A Very Boring and Unoriginal Excercise for the Reader

Who used the world’s first most famous weapon of mass destruction against innocent civilians? The one and only time it was used?

Which countries used chemical weapons extensively against each other, so much so that they had to be banned?

Who possesses the most weapons in the world and sells most of them? Each infinitely more dangerous than a pressure cooker BOMB, let alone a mere pressure cooker?

(The Writer is evading the question about who buys most of those dangerous weapons).

In the last one month, or one year, or one decade, or one century, how many have been killed by a pressure cooker BOMB, let alone a mere pressure cooker, a cooking device?

And how many have been killed in the last month, just one month alone by US made and US delivered BOMBS (with some other former empires pitching in), which had nothing whatsoever to do with the pressure cooker?

Given the quality of what is shown on TVs these days, if someone were to make a bomb using one of them (out of mere frustration from watching them), should TVs be banned?

(If you say that they should be banned anyway, even if they are not used as a bomb, you have the writer’s sympathy).

Just a Few Questions for the Really Grown Ups

Can TVs and other such devices be used as weapons of mass destruction? Even without them being used as BOMBS or even as detonators? Are they already being used as such? If yes, should they be banned?

Who is using them?

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