अनिल एकलव्य ⇔ Anil Eklavya

July 27, 2010

पनहद

मैंने सोचा था
कमीनेपन की
कोई तो हद
होती होगी

इसका उल्टा जानने की
मेरी कोई इच्छा नहीं थी

पर कोई मेरे घर
आकर और खाकर
ज़बरदस्ती बता गया
कि नहीं होती
एकदम नहीं होती

December 29, 2009

Vitaliate

So someone brought down the image of your profession, country, community etc.? You got to vitally retaliate. Know that little dog outside? Why not go and kick it in the head real hard. It really deserves it. Remember that other day when someone kicked it in the belly and it barked back? Not just that, it even growled back at the next person who had just brought his foot near its head. Not even touched it. Needs a lesson. The next time it growls back it should be kicked till it stops. This can’t be allowed to go on.

You got kicked too? I know, but that was by a superior. That’s more like a friendly thump on the back. We are not talking about that. There should be some order.

And also do something about the guy who brings the newspaper. He brings bad news and brings down the image of all good things. There should be a law against such news. But those freedom bullshit people won’t allow such a law to be passed.

Still, at least remember to kick that little dog and any other little thing that shows any impudence.

On the bright side of life, there is also the fact that newspapers are now focusing more on the news that is paid for. Such news must be better news on the whole than the outdated socialism kind of news.

Live professionally, hire your body, mind and soul and kick little dogs real hard.

In the head.

Don’t miss any such occasion. Gradually they will disappear.

December 18, 2009

Everything You Always Wanted To Say But Were Afraid To

This must be surely on the minds of many ‘highly educated professionals’, but one of them has actually come out and said all this. And not even under the cover of anonymity…

I think that there should be planned elimination of those groups of people who are seen to create problems to the “vision” of India as an good advanced superpower democracy. These irritating problem creators talk nonsense and bring down the image of India by talking about poverty, hunger, human rights etc and counter the good work that the highly educated middle class Indians working in MNCs and abroad do,to propagate the very nice image of India as a posh country with great malls, technology and being generally great.

They should be eliminated as part of an elimination policy and which groups should be eliminated can be determined by polling and asking the good indians who work in the US, the MNCs and other good posh middle class professionals and we are sure to get many nominations of groups that should be completely eliminated .These groups should include the “intelligentsia” who are useless irritants and spoil the name and image of India and of no use compared to the highly educated professionals working in the US and in the MNCs who everyone should listen to because they are the intelligent and good people.

The only slight drawback of this policy is that it can lead to situation where the country will be significantly depopulated and we will be left with noone but the good educated middle class. There would not many people of the lower classes left to admire the goodness and the greatness of India and the highly educated professionals. One way of circumventing this problem is to have along with the program of elimination a program for brainwashing,using mind control techniques etc including psychosurgery so that some people who are the problem can be made to change their opinion of India and the educated middle class indians that they are good , that India is a wonderful country etc.

We should all admire the brave stand. The forthrightness is really like a breath of fresh air.

So when is the pogrom, I mean program, starting? May be it’s already on.

I wonder which category do I fall in.

June 16, 2009

Walls have Fears

On walls live creatures
They don’t just have ears
They have eyes and they have teeth
And they sure don’t have tears

What adds to their terrors
Is that they can’t be easily seen
But you can feel their presence
If you are one of their victims

They can communicate with each other
With a system more sophisticated
Than that of elephants or whales
It’s so sophisticated that only
Intelligent Design can explain them

They have concrete manifestations
But they are mostly abstract
No wonder so is their food
They don’t eat your meat
They eat your lives and your work and your protestations

You can be safe from them if you want
It’s all a matter of belief and loyalty and obedience
As it has always been through the ages
With other kinds of fearsome creatures

The question is whether you accept
The benevolent supremacy of the Intelligent Designer
Who put them there to watch over you

Just believe and abide and salvation can be yours
Don’t and you, with your work and your life
Can be completely mucked up, inside and outdoors

April 8, 2009

Watch the Experiment

The movie to watch now is Das Experiment, which is based on two real social experiments.

There are many such experiments going on right now.

In most cases with involuntary participation.

Not really in labs.

And on a much larger scale.

And not so benign either.

Sooner or later the results are going to be visible.

Even if neither the participants nor the perpetrators want them to be.

They have a habit of moving out of control.

 

P.S.: The documentation says no violence (whatever that means) allowed.

February 12, 2009

The End of the (Hard Copy) Newspaper Age

Filed under: Absurd,Access Denied,Evil Creativity,Fascism,Newspapers,Sadism,So It Goes — anileklavya @ 10:13 am

For me, at least.

Almost ever since I learnt to read, devouring one or more newspapers has been an integral part of my daily life. Perhaps no other part of my routine has been that consistent. I still read a newspaper everyday (of course, there are exceptions), but now the newspaper is the online version. Unlike for some other people, this is not a matter of choice for me. I would still like to read the paper on paper. But due to some circumstances created by others, I have been forced to forego this habit.

About two years ago I stopped getting newspapers in my hostel room. There are a large number of people in the campus who want to keep teaching me a lesson for some reasons. They are not content with just once or twice. They want constant unrelenting punishment. So, things like taking away (it’s not really stealing, not always, though sometimes it can just be that) the newspaper from my door happen so frequently that at one point I had to decide that the whole thing was not worth the regular anguish of finding your paper missing etc. (this etc. is not empty: some interesting stories lie in there).

So, for about two years or so, I have not been reading the newspaper in hard copy and the age of hard copy newspaper has ended for me. Well, actually, last month the newspaper guy did ask me again if I wanted paper and just to check how things would be now, I said yes and paid him. I got what I expected. Only worse. Now the papers are gone even more frequently. So when the newspaper guy came again yesterday to get next month’s payment, I asked him to stop delivering papers to me. But he said he has already booked etc., so I paid him for one month more and asked him to stop after one month. By the way, I have not been reading the newspapers which I have been getting for the last month because I don’t want to get into the habit again and then first suffer the anguish of the missing paper (only a hardcore newspaper reader can understand what that means: but the people who I talked about know that it means quite a lot, whatever it may be) and then suffer the withdrawal symptoms once the papers have to be stopped.

This post is being written today because the paper is missing again today, the very next day after I paid for the papers that I am not going to read. And I have no doubt at all that it is missing by design, not by coincidence.

Those who know a little about me, also know that there are a lot many other things which others would consider more worthy of concern that…

Hopefully there are some people out there who would understand what and how much this post means. I would have been so much happier not to have to write a post like this. But then there might be other people who have faced similar things.

Or worse. Yes, it can always be worse, of course.

Perhaps it will be, because I do know that as a result of writing this there might be further trouble. Perhaps it is and I am not writing much about it. It can still get worse anyway. But I had to get this out.

February 6, 2009

(Lack of) Imagination for Insulting

As a result of having half a lifetime’s experience of being the target of insults from a very wide variety of people: of all ages, classes, castes, nationalities, sexes, religions, etc. (a large and very representative sample), the writer of this blog has made the discovery that the quality of insults hurled out by someone is a very good and very accurate indication of that person’s intelligence and imagination. This more general part of the discovery is less disturbing. It’s almost as satisfying as any scientific discovery.

The more specific part of the discovery, however, is very disturbing, even though it shouldn’t really be so very unexpected. This specific part is that the vast majority of the people hurling insults is completely lacking in imagination and seems to have very low intelligence as reflected in the quality of their insults. The writer can say without hesitation that at least 95% of the insulters will qualify as mentally challenged. Severely. And that’s a conservative estimate.

As any reader of this blog could have noticed, the writer of this blog is not a very modest person. And he claims to have extraordinary ability to come up with highly creative insults that can send even a person of strong temperament reeling with emotional pain. But, for some reason, he keeps this extraordinary power of his under very tight control, so much so that it is rarely exercised, at least against individuals.

But he is disheartened by the depressingly dismal quality of insults hurled out by others at him.

 

Show some imagination folks. Some intelligence. Don’t be (in your good language) so damned fucking stupid. So (in your average language) damned fucking re-tards. So (in your still more average language) damned fucking fagots.

He can give you a clue for coming up with good insults: Truth Helps.

 

 

And don’t tell me that this discovery is not really novel. I now suspect that of every discovery.

January 29, 2009

महाशक्ति-गान

रम-पपम रम-पपम
रम पपम-पपम
हम तो हैं महाशक्ति
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

घर में घुसेंगे तुम्हारे
सब तोड़-फोड़ डालेंगे
जो भी पड़ेगा बीच में
उसकी टांग तोड़ डालेंगे

रम-पपम रम-पपम
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

दो-चार जड़ेंगे तुम्हारे
बाहें डालेंगे मरोड़
हाथ-पैर जो फेंकोगे तो
हरजाना भरोगे करोड़

रम-पपम रम-पपम
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

मकान जो तुम्हारा टूट चुकेगा
उसे फिर से बनवाएंगे हम
खर्चा तो खैर तुम ही दोगे
बस मुनाफ़ा उठाएंगे हम

रम-पपम रम-पपम
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

चूं-चपड़ जो अगर करी तो
जोड़ देंगे लादेन के साथ
जंग छेड़ेंगे तुम्हारे खिलाफ़
दाँत दे देंगे तुम्हारे हाथ

रम-पपम रम-पपम
रम पपम-पपम
हम तो हैं महाशक्ति
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

नई-नई फ़िल्में बनाएंगे
विलन होगे तुम, हीरो होंगे हम
फ़िल्में जीतेंगी ढेर-से इनाम
कला के पारखी भी करेंगे सलाम

रम-पपम रम-पपम
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

ज्ञान हो, विज्ञान हो, अज्ञान हो
इतिहास हो, परिहास हो, बकवास हो
नाम तुम्हारा मिटा डालेंगे
तुम को तुम्हीं से लड़ा डालेंगे

रम-पपम रम-पपम
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

मार खाओगे तुम, मुद्दई होंगे हम
खून बहेगा तुम्हारा, दावा ठोकेंगे हम
तकलीफ़ होगी तुम्हें, आँसू बहाएंगे हम
हमीं होंगे पुलिस, जज भी होंगे हम

रम-पपम रम-पपम
रम पपम-पपम
हम तो हैं महाशक्ति
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

सभ्यता का पाठ पढ़ाएंगे हम
सलाम ठोकना सिखाएंगे हम
ताकत का आदर करवाएंगे हम
नाक फर्श पे रगड़वाएंगे हम

रम-पपम रम-पपम
जो चाहे करेंगे हम

गफ़लत में पर मत ना रहना
तुमको ना करने देंगे हम

रम-पपम रम-पपम
रम पपम-पपम

 

[2009]

January 12, 2009

Picture of the Future

Orwell described a picture of the future rather bleakly as:

There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always—do not forget this, Winston—always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face … forever. (1984 by George Orwell: Part III, Chapter III)

This, I believed, was a dystopian picture. I still do. I have my own picture of the future, which has remained almost unchanged for the last decade (at least). Three recent events somehow seem to me to be describing my picture of the future.

The picture is mine, but the future need not necessarily be mine.

But it can very well be.

The first is the unbelievably and blatantly criminal assault by Israel on all Palestinians: man, woman and child. I won’t give references for this. It’s there prominently even in the mainstream media and has been there for some time now.

The second is a recent call by the Andhra Pradesh Human Rights Commission chief (Chairman) for “legislation to prosecute parents with diseases such as tuberculosis, HIV, leprosy and dyslexia should they, knowing that they have the disease, have children”.

Inhuman Rights Commission?

The third is the news, or rather the lack of it, about the recent death of a Hindi writer living in Jaipur (yes, the connection with ‘your’ places does make it worse) Lavleen (लवलीन) who was relatively young. She had a reputation as a ‘bold’ writer and woman. She hadn’t really established herself as a great writer, but she was known among the Hindi literary circles. Let alone the Indian English media, (it has been pointed out) even the ‘biggest Hindi daily’ Dainik Bhaskar didn’t report it, even after many requests. And even the small but very vibrant and inter-connected world of Hindi blogging (which is very enthusiastic about events like the wedding of someone’s relative among them) mostly ignored it, though they are trying very hard to find out who ‘the real Tau’ (असली ताऊ) is. Like a lot of other writers, she died with the dream of some day writing a masterpiece.

(But still, I came to know about this from a Hindi writer’s blog).

And, no, I didn’t personally know her. Nor do I know the A. P. Human Rights Commission Chairman. Nor have I ever been to Israel, though a large percentage of the people (in History) I admire happen to be Jewish and most of them (I am sure) would have or have been horrified by what Israel is doing.

I don’t know why but these three events (or should I say sets of events: being a ‘professional’ practitioner of language sciences, crafts and arts is tough when it comes to writing anything) somehow represent for me the picture of the future.

This picture is not quite as horrible as that painted by Orwell (actually, by O’Brien the character, whether or not by the author).

But it doesn’t seem very pleasant.

November 2, 2008

Support Raj Thackeray

Outlook magazine has published an email received by it about the recent goings on in Mumbai, written by an undisclosed Maharashtrian reader (naturally, who wants to be lynched?). It gives no less than sixteen reasons for supporting Raj Thackeray. I wish to join in with my wholehearted support, although I am not too enthusiastic about one or two reasons.

You can read the reasons at the original location, but since I know most people don’t do that, here are a few samples to motivate you (in case you have reached here somehow):

2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi

6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals

10. Let’s support Kashmiri Militants because they are right to killing and injuring innocent people for benefit of their state and community…

16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathis

I can’t claim a place in the original version, but I can do so in the Delhi version of the sons-of-the-soil campaign, as I can call myself, with good reason, a Delhiite.

Who knows, Gods and Goddesses willing, I might finally land a respectable position. When all my qualifications and capabilities have failed to help me become somebody (even the security guards and the cleaning staff at the campus know this and treat me accordingly), my being a legal Delhiite might finally make a man out of me, instead of a wimpy whiny nobody so shoddy.

So how can I contact Delhi’s Raj Thackeray? I would like to apply as soon as possible. Hyderabadis don’t want me anyway.

AnywayS. AnywayS.

Isn’t lynching fun?

What about a spot on the Delhi police? Is firing 13 bullets to kill one katta wielding disgruntled youth who wants to send a message to the to be Messiah of the Dillivala Manoos, sorry, Bandaa, fun?

If you have the right outlook, you can find fun in anything. You can even find honour (honor for the dominant party) in it. Or you can go through life as a frustee-frustoo-frustrated.

Ask Deepak Chopra.

And he was born in Delhi too.

My Delhi. Great Delhi. Hindi Delhi. Cradle of Civilization Delhi. Capital of Successive Empires Delhi. Hindu Delhi. Muslim Delhi. British Delhi. Secular Delhi.

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